Friday, September 12, 2014

Let's Talk: Mortal Kombat

One of my favorite video games is Mortal Kombat. I spent a lot of time when I was younger perfecting my button-mashing technique, yelling at my TV screen, and trying to find which character’s Fatality suited my personality the best. Now, with the news that NetherRealm Studios will be releasing a new installment of the beloved fighting game next April, I think it’s only fitting to list some the greatest (in my opinion) MK fighters. Cue the electro theme music.


Photo credit: mortalkombatonline.com
13. Cyrax - Once the creators of MK exhausted their supply of ninja warriors, they turned to the next best thing- robot ninjas warriors. Cyrax is the yellow one who shoots nets from his chest. What more could you ask for?

Photo credit: mortalkombatwarehouse.com

12.  Smoke – He pretty much looks like a grayscale version of Scorpion or Sub-Zero, but with Don King hair and trails of smoke coming from his body. I’m guessing that’s so if he doesn’t take you down with one of his finishing moves, he can still give you emphysema. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?

Photo credit: mortalkombatwarehouse.com

11.  Goro – The match I most dreaded while playing the original MK game was going against Goro. He’s the big boss of the game and the most frustratingly annoying to take down. You’d think that since all Johnny Cage had to do in the film was give’em a swift punch in the ‘nads to slow him down, he wouldn’t be that bad, but no, just thinking about it is making me angry. Also, homeboy had 4 arms; you’d think he could’ve come up with a better hairstyle than that stupid ass ponytail.

Photo credit: mortalkombat.wikia.com

10. Jax – When he first came along, Jax didn’t look like anything special, then he came back in MK3 with his bionic arms and became one of the coolest characters.  He’s probably one of the most physical in the game, especially at close range, I mean he can beat a person down into the pavement and then kick their head off without batting an eye. He is not playin’.

Photo credit: digital-art-gallery.com

9. Raiden – Raiden is the god of Thunder, former Protector of the Earthrealm, and he can pull off a very wide brimmed hat, which not many can. A lot of his moves remind me of a mix between Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars and the Lightning guy from Big Trouble in Little China, so that makes him A-Ok in my book.

Photo credit: wikia.com

8. Liu Kang – Not only did he take all the tournaments by storm with his Bruce Lee-like physique, he’s probably the invisible bike-riding champ of the world. If that wasn’t enough, his animality changes him into a freakin’ dragon so you know he’s got to be the blood of old Valyria, obviously.

Photo credit: mortalkombatonline.com

7. Reptile – Any person who tells you they unlocked Reptile as a hidden character is a liar. You had to get a double Flawless victory in single player mode, finish off with a fatality, and it’d only work if there was a shadow across the moon and you sacrifice your first born to it. Ok, so maybe not that last part, but it certainly seemed like that was the only way you’d ever get it to work. He’s the only reptile I know of that can spit acid and turn invisible, and I may or may not say “REPTILE WINS” while doing his victory pose any time something good happens to me. Seriously, try it, it makes everything way cooler.

Photo credit: mortalkombatwarehouse.com

6. Mileena – Mileena was supposed to be the perfect copy of Kitana made by Shang Tsung, except thanks to the Tarkatan DNA he used, she’s got a messed up demon grill hiding underneath that face bandana. She is definitely a lot more vicious than her counterpart, and will take any opportunity to take her “sister” down. Out of all the female fighters, I definitely think Mileena is the most formidable; she has incredible speed, agility and brute strength. Also, in one of her finishing moves, she inhales her opponent and then spits out their bones, making her one lady you do not want to piss off.

Photo credit: mortalkombatwarehouse.com

5. Baraka – The answer to critics and parents alike complaining about how bloody and violent your game is? Add a newer, more terrifying character! Seriously, apart from him having some of the most brutal moves in the whole series, he has blades coming out of his arms that would make even Wolverine hide in a corner.

Photo credit: perdrowp.com

4. Sonya Blade – I’ve got to give it up to the original female character. She could literally burn you to a crisp with her kiss, and homegirl can hold a grudge- just ask Kano. Unless we’re talking about the movie, in which case you can’t, cause she snapped his neck between her legs like it was a little bitty toothpick. Girl power.

Photo credit: mortalkombatonline.com

3. Kitana – Hands down, my favorite MK character. Not only is she good at hand-to-hand combat, she has a ton of combos to choose from. She can use her fans to lift her opponent in the air rendering them immobile and useless, she could teleport and reappear behind her opponent taking them off guard, and one of her Fatalities was decapitating her opponent with her fans and who doesn’t like that?

Photo credit: mortalkombat.wikia.com

2. Sub-Zero – I’m talking about the original Sub-Zero who only appeared in the first MK game, before getting killed by Scorpion, becoming a ghost and changing his name to “Noob” (we’re gonna look past that). He’s probably one of the most noted characters in the game, with good reason too- he would rip his opponents head off with their spine still attached! Plus, not only could he freeze your ass, but he could also keep your drink chilled on a warm day.

Photo credit: playground.ru

1. Scorpion – Big surprise here, right? I don’t think it’s possible to think of the words “Mortal Kombat” without the iconic “GET OVER HERE” popping into your head. He’s the one character I feel like everyone can agree on as being the best and most badass of the entire series. If I’m not playing as Kitana, you can be dang sure I’m fighting someone over playing as Scorpion, never has a ninja assassin been so beloved.



What are some of your favorite Mortal Kombat kharacters? (See what I did there- so good.) Let me know in the comments!

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